Black Heart Inertia

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been updating my dA that much recently. As much as I would like to comment on the works of those people I watch, I couldn't --prolly because of laziness... but yeah, something's pulling me away from the internet world. Something inside myself tells me that it's better out of this srs bznz. Someone also told me this: "The internet isn't such a good place. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" and blah. At any rate, I still want to be online as much as possible cos I've also learned a lot here. And somehow, I found happiness; and worth; here.

If it wasn't for Ate Chai, I wouldn't be noticed by many here. If it wasn't for our Sweet Lolita Shoot, I probably wouldn't get this hundred plus watchers and 10k+ page views. So Ate Chai, thank you very very much for discovering me. Again, if it wasn't for you, I won't be able to meet awesome people such as Kuya Khal, who has been so thoughtful and concerned to his girlfriend's models; and the very funny and sweet Ate Mara.

Next would be Kira. Kira, you're not just a photographer; but you're also a great friend and a ragnarok buddy. Thank you so much for I've learned how to become confident during shoots because of you. Your simple "Whoah, Ayu! Look at this!!!" or "Sige, basta pose ka lang kung ano gusto mo, go lang!" really makes me feel that I'm doing well and after hearing that, I'd always get determined to do better.

And one more thing, thank you so much for giving me my very first lolita dress. I was very happy that time because I felt like I must have been a great model... so that is why I was able to get something so beautiful in return. Kira, if it wasn't for you, I won't also be able to meet a very sweet girl like Andrea; Sam and Cris who have been very sweet and warm to me even if I was just an acquaintance that time we had our Ecole le Bizarre shoot. You guys are awesome. And I love you.

I never thought of being into modeling. But I was so glad I did. Truly. Had I not been able to explore this wonderful world that I never thought of, I think I'd be a loser for real. See I don't dance, I don't sing, I don't indulge in any sports and the like. Even my violin lessons are in a so-so situation cos I thought I'd be able to enroll into Yamaha whilst studying my pre-med course which is nursing. Despite this loserness streak, here comes modeling, my savior. Now I found my worth. Something I can proudly say to anyone. :)

But then, I don't expect my modeling career (or should I say it in other term) to be smooth sailing. I know there would be shortcomings. I know God will test me too. But I will not fret. I won't just let any people belittle me. Modeling is not as easy at it looks like.

Rant: (Sorry for those who will get offended. I just really want to speak out about this)

People, watchers, friends, please read this...
I do not consider or proclaim myself as a LOLITA. I don't even know where that word originated and whatever the matter it is about it. It just so happen that my photographers want that as a concept. And I just accept any concept or theme my photographers like. As long as it's wholesome and as long as I can do it. I do not even own a lolita dress until Kira :devkirahokuten: gave me one. :3 But I thank him for that. Cos the dress is so so so pretty ♥

I have no intention of snatching away the lolita title from anyone in this srs bznz. I just want to model, I just want to have fun! and mostly, I would just like to make friends. :) Will I get higher grades in any of my subjects if ever I'll proclaim myself as a lolita? I don't think so, right? So what's the point of arguing? Teehee.

Still, despite this issue, I will not stop attending photoshoots with lolita as a theme. See, my father rarely praise me for what I do but when he saw my latest shoot, he said I looked cute. And that encouraged me more :D Soooo, there. Again, I, Alona Erika Alano will not stop doing photoshoots with lolita as a theme.


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Moving onn.....

With regards to school, this semester, (yayz I'm already a sophomore student!) I'll be having Maternal and Child nursing together with Microbiology and Parasitology and many other different subjects. Therefore, I won't be that active anymore. I've finally decided that I will be a doctor so I have to strive more. Yayz. :3

I'm very sorry for the long journal. Haha I just felt like I really have to speak out for myself. So here... Thank you for reading! :hug:

"Awareness that a problem exists is 50% solution to the problem. The other half is your decision whether to face it or not".